We have all heard about life altering situations. Could it be Happenstance, Pre-Ordained, Destiny or Luck? The four of them know no boundaries when it comes to love, life or even death. How many seconds does it take for them to impact on us?
It was December 21, 2009, just four days before Christmas. I was on my way to an appointment in Sussex County, New Jersey. The day before there was a major snowstorm leaving behind over fifteen inches of white powder.
At the time I was employed by the State of New Jersey with the Office of Licensing. I was on my way to conduct an inspection with a potential foster family. All appointments were to go as scheduled since the State Office in Trenton did not ground the cars.
I remember it being a cool, crisp, sunny day. The snow was melting leaving puddles of water along the road. I was on Route 23 going north just a few minutes from my destination.
One - A truck hits black ice on the shaded southbound side of Route 23, loses control, careening across the medium
Two – My hands shift on the steering wheel
Three – My foot goes for the brake
Four - I hear myself say “Oh My G-d”
Five – I turn my wheel to the left
Six – I turn my face away from the windshield
Seven – Impact
I don’t remember the airbags hitting my chest, just intense pain and a wave of sadness. I knew I was seriously injured. My phone was on the floor of the passenger side out of my reach. My glasses were thrown off my face and missing. I could barely breathe, yet I remember hearing myself saying out loud. “It is not a good day to die”.
In seven seconds my professional career with the State of New Jersey and my part-time career as a photographer were over. Just twenty days earlier my ten-year relationship also met its demise.
There I was, broken hearted, broken boned, in a broken car with a broken career.
Here is where Kindness begets Kindness. My apartment had too many stairs for a person with a broken leg, clavicle, wrist and ribs to maneuver. I was invited back to my old home on Garret Mountain in Woodland Park, New Jersey. The house had a shed and every day I dragged myself to that shed where I wrote in my journal and painted. I am not a trained painter/artist. I paint raw and awkward but I found it soothing, somehow it kept me still and tamed my stress. That first painting hangs proudly in my bedroom.
By August 1st 2011, I was officially retired from the State of New Jersey with surgeries still pending. The sudden death of my brother in 2012 at the age of 62 propelled me even more to relocate to Delray Beach, Florida, where I had a home and my dad.
May of 2012, I packed my Sorrento with my co-pilots Isabella and Ansel Adams, and off we went to my little house. Nine months later, my house was handicap-ready for my hip surgery. On February 26, I went under the knife. Later that day when I came out of the anesthesia I knew something had gone array. My left foot was on fire. My leg was burning and numb at the same time. Apparently when they removed the hip they applied pressure to the L4L5, which caused nerve damage. Four years later I am still numb and suffer from neuropathy in both my feet and shooting pain down my legs at night.
Then Happenstance came along. Someone gave me a brochure for the Old School Square art classes - it wasn’t called that at the time. There she was… This most beautiful piece of abstract painting I had ever seen. The artist was Sherry O’Neill. As luck would have it, Sherry was teaching a class at the school.
Drop-Foot Amsterdam dragged her burning butt and legs down to sign up. I found a mentor who understood loss, physical challenges and encouraged a newbie to paint.
When Sherry moved to North Carolina, you could hear my heart crack just a little. In retrospect it was the best thing for her and even more so for myself. I was now forced to go out and find others to learn from like Eydi Lampasona, Sally Cooper, Ellen Starr-Levinson. I devoured YouTube, visited galleries and museums. I even picked up my camera again.
I remember an old photography instructor saying,
There is plenty to photograph within a
fifty-mile radius of where you are
And Sherry O’Neill once said:
Paint The Colors That You See
It takes Seven Seconds for Something to Impact You!
P.S. Through much physical therapy, positive writing and painting the drop foot is very minimal. The numbness and burning still persist however medication is being looked into as a possible alternative.